I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize