Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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