Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
