Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
