it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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