When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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