Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
