he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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