went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
