is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
