Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
