she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
