well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
