Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize