they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
