..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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