who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
