3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
