Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
