Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You have to summon your inner elephant
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
