ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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