dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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