Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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