So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
