I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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