is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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