If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
