May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
