Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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