So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I supernannyed him into submission
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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