There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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