my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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