My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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