just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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