Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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