He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
