I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
