I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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