I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
