respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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