my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need a beard to bite.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
