I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
