Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
