I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize