Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
