you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
