Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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