How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
