You're so nebulous sometimes
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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