best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
