I accidentally had phone sex last night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.