marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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