I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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