tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
