I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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