sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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