He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
