It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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