I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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