Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
